Friday, July 10, 2009

the wooden boy...


charlie use to smile
until summer
the marionette
came into her life
he dazzled her with words,
made wonders out of places
in her that she didn't know existed
sang her melodies of lies
his strings popped in
a rhythm
that began a trance
she found herself dancing to this beat
morning time
she shook her hips, open mouth laughing
he fed her fantasies
those wood arms expanding in her face
her eyes followed
she began plucking on her heart strings
carefully checking them at the end of each month
mid July arrived
and
indigo revealed
a dragons face
replaced kindness
she checked inside
and the strings were mangled
all her smiles
vanished
her blood boiled
her anger contorted her body
and she was mute....
the marionette danced away
his head a little titled
cause he knew damage had been done

Thursday, May 21, 2009

quiet evening...


After the supervisor pulled Charlie in his office, told her that her attitude was nasty, smoking, and looking at her thighs. Charlie shifts in her seat, lit a cigarette, and focused on this snakes eyes. After being told she was being warned, she got up, thanked the snake for his time. She straigtens her skirt, switches out of the office. Slips her timecard in, waves goodnight, cigarette hanging from lip. the evening air welcomes her, waiting for the bus, she slides her hands under her purse to hid the shaking. Laying her head on the bus window, she closes her eyes, and the only sounds she hears is her own heart beating. Arriving home, James has left several notes under her door. her eyes go over his sloppy handwriting, "call me", "love you", i love you, call me, love you, love you so much", she tosses them in the trash with the other notes. She hasnt spoke or seen james in a month, precisely dodging anytime for him to see her, she hasnt been to her favorite club, changed liqour stores, taken a different route, enters her building through the back, which his drunk ass doesnt even know exist. she sleeps heavily through his midnight maurading, 4am knocking on doors, phonecall after phonecall, steps over him in the morning on her way to work. her work has been affected, and since she left Missippii she doesnt have any family, or anyone to contact, so this little money has too last. Chain smoking, she drinks a cup of coffee, listening to Gospel, she taps her heel against the small table, her home is immaculate, she has cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and still James is everywhere, his eyes are in every glass, his scent is in every pillow, his voice is singing background in every song. she rubs her scalp, and listens to her heartbeat, a glass of water, another cigarette, maybe a bath....

Friday, March 6, 2009

the first tango..


the first time he choked her, she looked at him with so much hurt in here eyes, that the flames in her pupils turned to smoke, she held her neck, he began to apologize, yet blaming her the whole time, she lunged at him, digging her nails into any place her hands landed, james screamed, and tried to grab her hands, but she switched locations, cussing him the whole time, james stopped to feel his face, and the blood, charlie already was going for her purse, where he knew her blade was, he ran towards the door, and she dropped her purse, and picked up a glass flinging it at him, as the door slammed. she screamed out loud, and slumped down to the floor. she held her face in her hands, thinking all his sweetness left out the door with him, anything that was pure was just damaged, the prophecy became true, she saw it, covering her face, this man was her demise....every reading she gave herself, with james running through her hair, it was a storm, stroking her back, she smiled. closing her eyes. taking white baths, making james join her, james thinking it was sexy, charlie trying to cleanse them both. he smiled at her, sipping a pint, smoking a cigarette, humming to muddy, charlie put her feet on his shoulders, she loved how he adjusted to her, no complaining, her heart beat red, and she started to cry. 'yeah baby this song makes me sad", she wiped her tears and leaned back. their lovemaking was a hurricane in its own, just breathing, constant movements, pushing everything out of each other, quiet peaking, stars shooting, they were too pistols fully loaded, blasting each other over and over again.

James couldn't believe he put his hands on her, he cried outside, the tears stinging the scratches on his face. she would never understand or forgive him, he also knew she was about to stab him if he didn't leave. he loved her fire, but he knew he had taken it too far. they had argued before, she cussed him so bad, he was speechless. but usually they made up in minutes, her brown eyes forgave him. he sat on the bus stop staring blankly. people walked by staring, he knew he was bleeding from his face. she didn't understand, he felt disrespected, she was too flirtatious. she is already beautiful, but the spell behind her eyes was showing, and james wanted that spell to himself, so when he saw her dancing with that man, his hand at the small of her back, shit she was enjoying herself...but i had to fuck it up...he thought. he had to tell her she danced like a whore. he pulled out his handkerchief and dabbed his face. he looked up at her window, and he knew she was crying now. he wiped his face and strolled down the street.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

darling...

your emptiness
fills me up...
till i am drunk
slipping in and out of conciousness
remembering
the touch
i sit alone
water back
cup running over
our secret
i wrote the spell
and
you cry witch
i reply with moist lips
valley of maroon
dont fear me
just
love me love me
james...
i will never leave you...

Sunday, January 18, 2009

ponytails



told me i had bedroom eyes
i retreat behind my mother even further
'stop being such a fraddy cat charlie'
she walks away
hot breath in my face
mouth smelling like poison
'looking just like yo mama'
she was already in the room
in her own junkyard
i cant stop staring at the closed door
too big hands touch me
i dont cry
i dont move
the only sound i could hear was my heartbeat fading
and
feel
hate blossoming
at the closed door...

Delta days...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

brush....



In the mirror, she pulls up the straps to her black camisole, runs her fingers across the mirror, takes each bobby pin out, letting her black curls fall, she applies her trademark maroon lipstick, eyes lined in black, takes a sip, slides on the green silk dress she wore the night she met james, pins a pink rose to the left side of her head.... tsk........

the streetlights light a path down to the subway...each step Charlie thinks she is walking straight...but she feels her weight shift from side to side...giggling out loud...she grips her pocketbook tight, in it, a bottle shifts ...smelling like lavender and a hint of jack daniels....she sits on the subway bench...legs crossed, back straight, she lights a cigarette, blowing smoke, she wraps her fox a little tighter around her, she rotates her neck, trying to roll james off of her neck. he is not only in her neck, he shoots down her spine, tingles at her fingertips. uncrossing her legs, crossing them again, men walk by, staring, she smokes straight ahead. The lounge is noisy, music blaring from the jukebox, many many conversations, she finds a seat at the end of the bar. the bartender, a tall yellow woman with freckles,newsboy cap pulled low, dressed in a man's shirt, suspenders, and slacks...leans on the bar," what will you be having darling?"......charlie looks straight past her...a jack straight up, water back (pause) darling...she lights a cigarette, redbone sits her drank on the bar, in a tall glass, without looking at her "how much do i owe you", "for eye contact its on me"....charlie looks up and sucks her teeth..."how much do i owe you? ...."actually the gentleman at the bar, says its on him......

Saturday, December 13, 2008

invisible clock...

darling my deepness
is smothering
where you might find yourself drowning
but i am always present holding a glass