rapture...

I open my eys, and i see the back of my fathers head, the dan ryan expressway is stretching ahead of us, in a 79 buick. i arch my neck, and notice how my father only drives with one hand, he is the coolest. I can feel the warmth of my brothers arms on each side of me, as usual i am in the middle. My mother is smoking a cigarette, blowing smoke out of the cracked window. the spring air flows into the car, twilight sun. Anita baker is playing on the radio, "SWEEEETTTT LOOOVVVVEEEE", I feel the heaviness in my eyelids, but i want to sing....sweeettt loooveeeeee, my mom laughs from the front seat , flicking the ash, my brother on the right covers his ears. my father turns up the volume, with his free hand, and begins to hum with me. "HEAR ME CAALLLING OUT YOUR NAME....i close my eyes and sway to the beat, the way i have seen my mother do. "Sing baby", my mom turning around looking at me, i open my eyes and see her smiling, i sing louder. "So swweet, Soo sweeeeeeet, no sweeter love, no sweeter, ah nooo no no", my voice rings throughout the car, my brother on the left is still asleep,not bothered at all. the song ends, my parents clap, brother on the right sighs. i hang over the seat, and put my small hands in my mothers hair, big black curls. "its like a lions mane mom", "growl", i keep my hands in her hair, feeling her warm scalp, smelling like pink oil moistuirzer,saying a silent prayer that i am as beautiful when i grow up. Sitting back, i rest my head on my sleeping brothers tiny shoulder, and drift off to sleep. We arrive home, i am being carried to the house, one eye open, my brothers see this production , one of them reassures my dad, "she aint sleep". my father adjusting my weight in his arms, i say "yes i am daddy", pouty mouth...lol....i found a safety in my fathers arms, that has stayed with me for this life that i dont ever want to let go of...